What
should I do?:
Ten Tips for helping a friend with
a mental health or substance abuse issue
10. If you are worried about a friend's
behavior or attitude, talk with him or her as soon as possible.
9. Meet your friend in a comfortable
place where you can talk privately. Talk in a calm and considerate
manner about the specific things you have seen or felt that caused you
to worry about his or her health.
8. Voice your concern in a supportive
and careful way. Here are three tips:
- Use "I" statements. For example, "I'm
worried about your safety," or, "It makes me afraid
to hear you talk about suicide."
- Avoid "You" statements that sound critical. For
example, "You're out of control!" or, "You must
be crazy!"
- Avoid giving simple solutions. For example, "Everything
would be okay if you just stopped…"
7. Give advice in the form of options. For
instance, recommend a health professional for your friend to see or suggest
support groups you think may help your friend work through the problem.
6. Your friend may deny that he
or she has a problem. If your friend won't listen to you, you may
need to tell someone else. Consider talking to your friend's parents,
a teacher, a doctor, a counselor, or another trusted adult.
5. Remember that you cannot make
someone get help or change his or her attitudes and behaviors. You
can make a significant difference by sharing your concerns, providing
support, and knowing where to get more information.
4. Be sure to take time for yourself. It
is important to pay attention to your own health while helping a friend.
3. Although you may be willing to
do anything and everything to help, don't try to take over your friend's
life. Offer support, but be patient.
2. Mental illnesses are often hard
to explain, and your friend may have trouble putting how he/she feels
into words. Be reassuring and non-judgmental, and try your best
to understand your friend's problem.
1. To be a good friend, never keep
talk of suicide a secret, even if a friend has asked you to. Take
it seriously and seek help immediately from a trusted adult or health
professional. It is better to risk losing a friendship than to
risk losing a friend forever.
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